What does the past really hold for any of us? Why is it in human nature to reminisce? My generation seems adamant in recollecting the past, especially the college years. With the advent of facebook this ‘need’ is greatly enhanced. The pictures are paraded for all to see, and in so doing it kind of help reaffirm the image we hold in our mind that – yes! I was there and I did do that and I did have a whale of a time! But personally, I can’t appreciate it as much.
I am not a keen advocate of recollecting the past, not because I don’t think the events were particularly significant. In fact the events were real. I was in Grand Canyon summer of 93, I did go back packing in the summer of 89, I did have my heart soar like that eagle flying high when so and so read me the poem he wrote for me in the summer of... never mind that. But the honest truth is, I have a kind of out of body experience when I recollect those events. It’s me and yet it’s not. The person who experienced those events was me of that time, and the person I am today with all that ‘water under the bridge’ is different. And I need to be mindful of it.
On a different yet connected note, my 5 year old is undergoing something similar. She is experiencing a need to redefine herself, at 5! She has decided that she would like to be known as Sofe or Sofea, her first name, and not Ra’isah, and second name. For the last five year she has been addressed as Ra’isah by the family, friends and teachers. And now, she informs us that she wants us to call her Sofe or Sofea. Initially, I don’t think I took her seriously enough. But then I realise that like many of us who sometimes feel the need to redefine our sense of self either through hair style or colour, through clothes and car, my daughter too needed to redefine who she is to the world. And why not? Isn’t that part of the evolution of being human? To constantly revaluate your sense of being and modify and amend where necessary? But the problem is, the world at large, and by that I mean other fellow humans, would rather we stay the way we have been. I guess it helps create a sense of constancy in life. But with constancy, there is also a mediocrity that may sit in. As if to say, this was me and this is all I am and this is all I can and will be.
What I am learning from Sofea is this: Don’t assume you know who the person is even if you’ve been mates for over 20 years or you’ve been college buddies back in the 90s or what have you. As long as we breathe and think and are aware of our sense of being, we will continue to evolve and redefine our sense of who we are. And there is nothing others can do about it but to learn to adapt and accept our changes.
