Sunday, September 7, 2008
Emotional compass
When i had my miscarriage on Friday the 29th of August 2008 after 9 weeks carrying a fetus in my womb, i tried to be stoic about it and told myself that it's what God had intended for us. But when i saw Hisham break down in front of me i knew things were as bad as i felt. All the same, my sister is right when she said to me that evening - we are measured not by the number of children we have, but by how well we raise those that are in our care. That's the priority. Having said that, i will acknowledge this much; my husband in part is my emotional compass. When things get bad, as its sometimes known to happen in life, and i feel like having one of my blow ups or melt downs, i look to him for a reality check. And this latest episode in our life is bad but we'll get through it and god willing try again, and succeed.
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8 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear that Dr. I wish only the best for you and your family. Rest well and I hope the healing process will go on smoothly..
Amin..
Dear Dr, i am glad to see that you are recovering psychologically. You are just as strong as you appear to be. We, humans, are destine to go through all sorts of tests and obstacles by Him. So, just keep going on and live our lives colorful.
God bless,
Robin.
dear Dr,I'm so sorry to hear that.I understand your feeling as one of my relatives had face the same matter. Dr, I hope, you are tough to face this challenge.This is one of HIS challenges to HIS umat.Be as strong as you always appear. I'll always pray for your happiness. SALAM RMADHAN ;)
Dr, i know u r strong enuf to face this...InsyaAllah, everything will be fine soon...i know its very hard for u to accept it...but, its all fated by Him....btw, rest well n i wish the best for you n ur family....
It has all been written in Allah SWT's will. we as his servants must accept His will with an open heart and be as patience as we can through His test. Allah SWT is only testing our faith and belief in Him. so, do not ever give up on your hopes, Dr. Allah SWT is always with you. you're a strong woman, Dr. i know you are one very strong woman the first moment you opened your mouth to speak to us. you'll get through this ordeal gracefully, i know you will. may Allah SWT bless you and your family always, amin ya rabbal alamin. get well (better) soon :)
hello rai! be strong and never give up. i know how hisham's feeling as i had the same experience. it took me about three weeks to recompose myself. InsyaAllah everything will be ok.
Jaferi
Dr, im so sorry to hear about that. But, as u said, we should alwis have faith in God. He knows whats the best for us. Hope u'll be fine vy soon which im sure u will. Tk care.
I read this poem once, and i dedicate it for u now...
What Makes a Mother
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard Him say.
"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But God can you be a Mother,
When your baby's not with you?"
"Yes, you can," He replied
With confidence in His voice
"I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay."
"I just don't understand this God
I want my baby to be here."
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw the tear.
"I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child's smile,
With all the other children and say...
'We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come strait here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much,
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'
"So you see my dear sweet ones,
your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with Me,
Until your lesson's through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart
it's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
Though some on earth may not realize,
you are a Mother.
Until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
and know that you are the best one!
Dear Shirley,
Thank you for this poem. I had a good cry reading it -- it expresses my sorrow and pain in ways i couldn't rationalise. After all, how can one miss something one has not begin to develop a relationship with? What was it that made me sad? What is it that gives me pain in my heart?
But as i read this poem, i realise that the essence of my lost is best captured in the poem -- the inability to develop a relationship with that unborn being, the inability to hear her/him call me "mama", the inability to see her/him grow and develop into her/his own being. But the resolution is also there as the persona says - god willing, i shall have that relationship, later in the after life rather than sooner in this.
My favourite stanza is this:
"I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child's smile,
With all the other children and say..."
It cokes me up everytime i read it. God willing, my child is one of those described in the stanza.
Thank you sincerely for sharing the poem with me, and reminding me that the spirit does not end with death. I feel more at peace now.
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